Bruz: Initially made me think of Budweiser 40oz swill being drank from someone's sweaty armpit... in the end, however, proved to be nothing more than a below average beer. "America's Oldest Lager Beer" kinda tastes more like America's oldest beer. Not the worst by any means, but definitely nothing worth swilling on an ordinary basis. No buzz, weak taste & no pee earn this 40 a rating of 4/10 swills. Thanks out to Kirk for the hookup on the oldschool bottle!

10/17/09 SouthLyon40s: Old man Schaefer.

Cool lookin label. Decent crack and hiss I guess. Nothing too out of the ordinary. First chug yeilds a comparison to PBR, aftertaste not quite so pronounced, but it's there. Some beers start out without it, some steer clear of it all together, and some keep it for the long haul. Nothing necessarily bad - but it's a taste that immediately pegs it into a certain "category" and comparisons invariably go to there.

"America's Oldest Lager Beer" I do not know if that is or is not true. It has "One quart, 8 fluid ounces" written near the bottom, which is not ordinary. Maybe I just haven't looked at the finer print on other labels. I like this label. It seems modest for whatever reason.

Keepin its taste more than midway through. For some reason I like this. I'd probably drink the beer in 12 oz cans. But unfortunately when I'm looking for a 40 it's malt liquor... so I'm drinking this one just for the collection.

Stays decent. Nothing much to say about it. Buzz is nothing spectacular. Solid beer 40, nothing more, nothing less.

10/2/09 sleazye: Never reviewed this classic "bad beer" 40 oz, so here goes... I got this at Kappy's in Fitchburg, MA where I bought their remaining stock of Tap & Die 40s, but I digress. The crack and hiss were louder than normal, especially for a "bad beer" 40 such as this. The taste is very weak and mild which is indicative of such a low ABV 40 this is. Not too much overpowering factors if any with this at all. All in all, a real bad beer, but good depending on your mood I guess type bad beer.

Not too much more to say about it.

Label: 7/10
Taste: 6/10
Swill: 7/10
Buzz: 3/10

9/9/09 kethegod: Drank one of these about a month ago while on vacation....the shit almost ruined a perfectly sunny beach day. That and my camera was acting up... The beer tasted like the label should have simply red the word "BEER" on the side of it, reminded me of Golden Anniversery or any other bad beer youve ever had. I dont mind a bad taste as long as im feeling a little bit buzzed at the end to make up for it, but this stuff just wasnt doing that either....3/10 swills

7/8/09 Super40Natural: Many thanks to TheFear for sending me this one

I like the label, it's pretty old school. Threw this one in the fridge a few hours ago, not too cold just how I like it. This one's exactly 1 month past expiration on the neck

Hiss was pretty minimal compared to other forty ouncers. What really got me at first was the smell. I hadn't read any reviews on the brew before and when I smelt it I thought, wow this is gonna be pretty bad. Taste was the opposite from the smell. Smell was strong and offensive, taste is uncommonly light and barely bitter. Getting into the label now, consistent taste from the crack (which was fine, not super taught like some 4s but the cap was a little banged up).

Pretty low amount of carbonation for a beer forty. I just capped it and let it sit for a few minutes and it did give the faintest release opening. I just ate a dinner of Chinese food and my full stomach isn't holding me back from the forty like many malts would. If I were doing a vid I think this would be a real quick rip between the low carbonation and lack of the bad side of the flavor on some of your regular forties.

Back to the taste, my mouth still has some salt & msg overload from the Chinese (sweet sour shrimp & chicken kow covered in chili paste). As it's starting to warm up I can at least taste some sense of hops to it, real light still though. Near nothing registering on the sides and back of the tongue. There's a pic of Schaefer light in the Archive, curious where they'd go from here. Really, there's nothing bad about the taste of this 40, it's all the things the brew is missing in the taste that take away from it. It's definitely better on all counts than several other American beers.

In terms of buzz, at half label and about 15 minutes in now I'm not sure if it's euphoria from being so full and slowly swillin a forty or the forty itself that I feel so relaxed. Will return to the buzz point at the end of the review. Back to the label, I see they've got some barley growing behind the Schaefer logo. They have only three colors on the label: white, gold and red. Cap and ring match with the gold. It looks pretty old school, like a country club or high life - which I think is cool. Cap is completely plain, other than being cold, which I like too. Bottom of the label reads, "America's Oldest Lager Beer." I don't know that sounds pretty BS to me, but no more so than "The King of Beers." I'd rather rip or sip these Schaefers than that other stuff.

Getting near the swill I'm starting to have my first burps, which are real soft. As it's getting warmer the brew is taking on some more flavor, infact I think I like it better though it's coming along with some classic cheap-beer taste. Instead of getting flat on me it's making burps, too. Now onto the real swill, producing a lot of burps but all pretty soft, infact a lot like the hiss was. Taste is approaching a Bud taste, be it though Bud at it's very best.

Coming back to Buzz - Definitely not unfit to do any sort of task, not say HG or even OE level but I do feel exceedingly pleased. Not at all ripped but at the same time not feeling like I want another 40 like I sometimes do. I'd say the buzz factor is pretty on par with the taste: better than the smell. Nothing that's gonna have me trying to rip another trade for it right away, but if I saw it at a store I'd grab it in a heartbeat for a second go. I think this brew could be summed up in that the only things wrong with it is what it's missing.

Taste: 6/10. Not awesome but considering it's category - American Beer 40 - does pretty well
Buzz: 6/10. Again, considering it's a 4.6% I feel surprisingly pleased
+0.5 for the oldschool cap & label

6.5/10 Swills for "America's Oldest Lager Beer" - Schaefer in the 40oz

6/28/09 TheFear: Found this Schaefer 40 in Atlantic City while on vacation for Mrs.Fear's Birthday. I decided to rip this while cleanin up my hot as hell, dusty ass basement. Not the best tasting beer around, but not the worst by any means. Definately had its own unique bad beer flavor. Can't say I felt much of a buzz, but I didn't expect to. It was very cold and went down easy. Which is exactly what I was lookin for on this Sunday afternoon. I probably finished the 40 in about 30 minutes. Wouldn't buy this very often, but it did serve as a nice change of pace from the high alcohol content brews that I've been drinkin lately. Taste 6/10, Buzz 4/10, Overall 5/10.

6/20/09 91firebird: I gotta give a shout out to my man BWill40 for the hook up on this classic bad beer 40. It produced a wicked crack and was definatelty a 40 that one can swill on a daily basis. Had the bad beer flavor that I like and was smooth all the way. Its very similar to the local bad beer we have here which is Lone Star. I've wanted this 40 for quite some time so I was very excited to pound this. Very decent 40, not much of a buzz but I expected that. Overall I give it a solid 7/10 swills. Taste could have been a little smoother like Old Style or Piels. The label is classic so it definately gets a thumbsup in my book.

6/19/09 havinafett: Schaefer... the last time I drank Schaefer beer I was 19 and it was from a 30 pack that was sitting in my friends basement as room temperature as beer can get. Didn't have the fondest memories of this stuff but I decided to crack it anyway. First sip was real cold and real carbonated. Exactly as a bad beer should be. Honestly, I liked this stuff. I liked it a lot. I'm a fan of weak ass American bad beer and this one I enjoyed quite a bit. It kinda tasted like if Busch, Piels, Pabst and Bud somehow all got together and had a love child. That might sound horrible, but it wasn't. It was a great bad beer all the way to the end. I never let it get too warm and I honestly can't say what it would be like at the end of the bottle if I had, but if you've had any other bad beer 40 I'm guessing it's just like that. I hadn't eaten anything in about 8 hours when I drank this and I drank it pretty quick so I actually caught a slight buzz from this. Nothing that would be considered a great starting platform for a night of drinking, but a satisfying afternoon buzz. I'd get this again if I was looking for exactly that, but not as a regular drink. Overall 6/10

billmac1981: May definitely be the worst beer I have ever tasted...including schlitz...blecch...no buzz....awful flavor not too impressive of a label or cap...
1/10 swills...and that's bein generous...

but hey it's a new bottle for my collection...up to 12 now...

Buzzcore: Okay, this is gonna' be a long review because I haven't had a 40 oz'er of Schaefer in a few years. I used to drink it on the reg, plonking down my $1.60 for 40 ounces of F&M Schaefer's best. Better than Bud, cheaper than Pabst.......... and I used to enjoy it, dammit! Especially while watching a movie and chillin' with my girlfriend on a Thursday or Friday night, after work. More recently though, I've found it almost impossible to find in a 40. That is, until my Bostonian pal "40 Ounce Killa" said had a connection......... of course, I then found it two days at a local liquor store. That's my luck, but I'm not really complaining. After all, more Schaefer is better than NO Schaefer! Anyway, Schaefer tastes pretty good (even the swill), but it's low-octane. Doesn't matter, I'm still giving it a 7/10 for bringing back memories and being one of the first 40 oz'ers I've ever had. I also, recommend listening to The Wretched Ones (who sing about it, the way NRSV sing about Olde E) while drinking Schaefer.

Drastic Mezures: I got to try this again cause I picked up a small mouth to trade with Fat John so while I was there I gabbed one for my collection also. Whats with beer 40's and feeling full? I could barely drink it because every few sips made me feel so full it felt like I was gonna explode. I hope thats not what it's supposed to do. It took me like 2 hours to finish it and 2 hours = no buzz, so I think I'm gonna try it again to see how it really is and now that it's available in a small mouth it's a lot more appealing.

eyehategod7: For the last few days I have been drinkin' 40's of Schaefer beer..America's 1st Lager Beer....a 40 only costs $1.15 at this packy I go to. Really good brew to drink for cheap money, I highly recommend this beer if you are on a budget. 2 thumbs up for Schaefer beer.

Fat John: Intial swill was rancid.made me think twice about takin another.Second one wasn't so bad but not good either.After I got past the opening swills the shit was decent but not great at all.Just tasted like normal ass watered down beer.Kinda reminded me of Schlitz beer.Nothing fantastic nothing nasty.No buzz.Shits just average as fuck in every way.If ya need it for your collection ya might as well swill it but if your lookin for a buzz or good drink you should cop something else.I can't rate it too harshly because cuz nothings terrible about it.4 out of 10 swills seems fair.Would have been 5 maybe if the initial reaction wasn't so bad.

ImissMy64oz: Drank a schafer while watching smackdown
shit is gay
tastes like a lite one of my worst
tasted like bubley water with a few splashes of beer
shit sucks gay lable
but is tolerable
3/10

JoeWebberlione: Thanks out to Rhatigan for the hook up on this 4 that I have a few different varients of but now finally got to try it. First crack & smell made me think of PBR which is nice when you want a real light beer. First few sips though made me think of Busch, which is still nice, but nothing really that special. Has a nice flavor but doesnt pack much of a buzz at all. One of the better bad beers, but not the best. 6 out of 10 swills.

LMSCRacer: Not much to add to Satan's review. Got the 40 to add to my collection. Weak hiss on the crack, not much in the line of taste (although there was a faint hop aroma early) and no buzz factor. Drank it quickly enough that the swill was still cold. Not bad for a typical bad beer. In honor of bad beer drinkers a 5/10 swills.

neufutur: Thanks to Bruz for picking this one up for me! However, this is probably the worst 40 I've ever had. I have only drank about thirty different types, but this was watery as hell. It took me a few swigs to even begin to taste the beer. The 40 made me piss like a racehorse. Every ten minutes I would take a minute leak; this might just be a cheaper diuretic than water pills! There was little change in the swill because there was little to no taste in the original 40. No buzz to be found at all, either! I understand that Schaefer may be the cheapest 40 around people, but seriously - pick up a MBI, a Cobra, or anything; this shit ain't right. 0 out of 10 swills.

OldeGoldSwilla: This is a 40oz that I bought strictly for my collection's sake. It is your grandad's beer. Nothing noteworthy and not something to buy more than once. Buzz factor is not present.

pman433: im gonna go ahead and call this the best american regular beer there is, this doesnt include malts or german or mexican beer , it tastes better than bud mills best and would be on par with miller ok buzz ok taste would be best in a 32oz but what beer wouldnt? i actually enjoyed the stuff ill give it a 6.5 outta 10

RickCarling: First, thanks to Drastic Mezures for the hookup. I like bad beers, a lot, and this one looked tempting.....for some reason. I swilled it pretty fast, it stayed cold but was so watered down, but what else can you expect from a bad beer? Very teeny tiny buzz coming on, like taking 1 hit of regular weed. This will be dope for my collection. Finished it, and it made me piss only once, and that was after it was done. All in all, good 40, i would drink it regularily if i could. 8/10 swillz for this classic bad beer!

satan165: i had this 40 before and i let my exgirlfirned drink it like a dumbass
luckily as i am now on the easy coast i came across one
had to drink it the fuck down
shit went down mad smooth
typical definitive bad beer
white mike told me it tasted like cork
tasted no different from 100 other bad beers
kind of useless cause its so weak but still tastes ok
i enjoyed it

Tiger Tai: This shit is just about the same as Pabst or Natty Bo, nasty and grainy. No sir I didn't like it... I'd give Schaefer 4 of 10 Swills.

White Mike: It tasted like drinking a cork